Thursday, June 9, 2011

my favorite all time baseball "screw ups" list.

Nothing says fun in baseball like scandals and stupidity. Here is my list of players that I felt have earned a position on the Big Kahuna's "Screw ups, Lame Ducks, and other Little Liars of the Baseball Diamond."

CATCHER: Eddie "The Model" Taubensee
Part of the Kenny Lofton trade with the Astro's in the 1990's. I wonder who got the better end of that deal?

PITCHER: Roger Clemens
"It is what it is." Claims to never have used HGH or steroids. Funny......what is a 6-count indictment against "The Rocket" for then? Two of them which include perjury as well. It's not like there is any overwhelming evidence or DNA linked evidence.

RELIEF PITCHER: John "7-Train" Rocker
Between his mouth, racial slurs, HGH use, and whiny little bitch ass....this guy deserves "Hell's Humanitarian of the Year Award."

FIRST BASE: Mark McGwire
"I'm not here to talk about the past."

Said he never used steroids at a congressional hearing. 10 days later he failed a pee test by taking stanozolol! OOPS!

The all time "Hit King" had a little problem with tax evasion. I bet he forgot to pay his taxes again. I bet he will never make it to the hall of fame as well. I bet that he will also lose that "Playboy Mistress" of his very soon. Did I happen to mention that he placed bets on baseball games? Did I mention he made bets on his own team? That's just wrong!

SHORT STOP: Miguel Tejada
On February 10, 2009, Tejada was charged with lying to Congress about performance enhancing drug usage in Major League Baseball. On February 11, Tejada pleaded guilty to charges that he lied to Congress in 2005. Also can't seem to get his age right as well.

THIRD BASE: Alex Rodriguez
In a 2007 interview with Katie Couric, Alex Rodriguez flatly denied ever having used performance-enhancing drugs. Some 2-3 years later Mr. Rodriguez made this statement when BALCO was busted: "Back then, baseball was a different culture, as it was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. I did take a banned substance. And for that, I am very sorry and deeply regretful."

LEFT FIELD: Manny Ramirez
Let's see......"Prima Donna", HCG user, steroid abuser, con artist.....need I say more? Perhaps Bi-polar even?

CENTER FIELD: Carlos Gomez
Cocky ball player who only enjoys cheering for.........HIMSELF. Acts like he's Gods gift to baseball.

RIGHT FIELD: Gary Sheffield
Very vocal about how much money "he wants" in order to play. Has no respect for other players or fans. Has no respect for himself as he was a steroid user as well.

MANAGER: Bobby Valentine
What manager gets ejected from a game and then returns to the dugout wear a disguise? 

SCUM AGENT: $cott Bora$
"Show me the money!"

Barry Bonds (ROIDS)
Milton Bradley (what's next....MMA? Here's the middle finger to you too)
1994 season (strikes suck: Million dollar cry babies)
Michael Jordan (what the heck.....stay in basketball. Besides....your name is not Dion Sanders)
Logan Morrison (self absorbing and arrogant on twitter at times)
Joba Chamberlin (where did the phenom go?)
Carlos Zambrano (I'm gonna punch some gatorade containers and call my coach a cunt)
Hanley Ramirez (takes the time to smell the roses before running to the next base: cocky with a big ego)
Miguel Cabrera (he's going to kill you!)
Bryce Harper (King of Cocky in the making)
Jose Canseco (My God.....he told the truth in his book)


Anonymous said...

Carlos Gomez?! OMG, you can do better than that. The guy's just a kid that enjoys playing baseball a little too much sometimes. Torii Hunter is much better choice here -- there's a long trail of bodies of folks he's thrown under the bus.

And as much as I'm not a Manny Ramirez fan, if he was bi-polar, it's not like that's something he's at fault for. That's a mental illness. Being a jerk, on the other hand, is not.

The Big Kahuna said...

Yes I will agree that Torii Hunter could be a better choice. I chose carlos because after watching the fourth interview of him I simply wanted to puke after the comments he spewed out. When someone says, "baseball would not be what it is without me entertaining" that's when I had to list him first and foremost.

As for the Manny comment of him being Bi-polar.....he could be the way he acts sometimes but then he knows how to really "play the game". Just ask the Dodgers fans!

Kevin said...

Carlos Gomez kinda caught me ff guard. I mean what you said isn't wrong, just would think there are worse folks for that position.

I do like ya hit Pete Rose hard. Too many give him a pass. He belings at the top of any list that includes the likes of steroid era guys. Well done.

The Big Kahuna said...

True...I forgot about Elijah Dukes, Roger Cedno, or Derek "I need a place big enough to park my boat" Bell!