Thursday, February 2, 2012

Things are getting back to normal...........I think.

It has been a very rough couple of months emotionally for the Hertzog family. My Fiancee (future Mrs Kahuna) had lost a family member in the beginning of November due to long term illness. Then my mother had passed away unexpectedly on Nov. 15th. Then my Fiancee's Grandfather passed away on Dec. 30th from Pancreatic Cancer. I had not been through so much rough and raw emotions since I had lost my 2 uncles and Grandfather months apart in 1989. Things have appeared to calm down now and hopefully we can find some comfort and peace in our lives again. Start healing again.

My Mother......I miss her everyday. I keep thinking it's a dream. It's like I am going to walk in the front door of her old place and see her sitting in the chair waiting to tell me a new joke or tell me about how she was able to do a little bit more cooking in the kitchen. Perhaps my phone ringing is her calling to tell me she needs help getting back into her chair again as I was her lifeline for many situations that she got herself into like that......and yet.......the voice I hear...... is not of who I had hoped it would be. Yes, I can find peace in knowing that she is free of the disease and suffering and pain that she endured and that she is "home" and in the arms of the Angels. She is no longer bound to her chair and I am quite certain that when she looks at her feet she can see all 10 toes and not just 5 as she wiggles them in the tall dark crisp green Kentucky style grass. No cancer or diabetes or dialysis to hold her back. I am sure she can hear the laughter of children and the sweet sounds of the heavenly orchestras and not the monotonous continuous noise of "ringing" in her ears. I can even begin to imagine the 1960's hairstyle that she used to have like I saw in her school pictures which consisted of thick plentiful dark brown hair on her head. She's probably even now saying under her breath to me, " I still have more hair than you son " in her own sense of humorous way (my hair is thinning out and she used to say that I was catching up to her). My mother wore wigs to cover the bald patches because she tried to hide her illness and always made her self look good because she didn't want people to know just how much of a battle she was fighting with her health. My mother did so much for much. Thank you mother for my life. I love you Mom and I miss you dearly. One day we will meet again........and when we'll probably still have more hair than me!


Play at the Plate said...

This reminded me of my father. Take care Kahuna!

Jeremy said...

Your writing really touched me. So much that I'm going to have to make a phone call to my own parents just to say hi. Thanks for sharing. I wish I could say something to ease your mind, but I think that would be impossible. Take care.