Sunday, October 4, 2015

FINALLY.......THE KAHUNA HAS COME BACK TO KICK TOPPS ASSETS UP THE HILL AND OVER THE WALL!



HE'S ALIVE I TELL YOU............................ALIVE!

Yes........it seems as if I had fallen off of the grid so to speak. It's as if I was swallowed up by the big black hole and came out on the other side as a combination of myself and the Big Kahuna (think of the Maximilian death scene from The Black Hole movie):








Where have I been all this time you ask? For I had taken part on the most epic of a journey. I had taken up my yoke and sailed out to the edge of the far galaxy and crossed over to the threshold of what most men that are not drunken would perhaps dare call it........insanity. From the most foulest gut wrenching turn of events that led me into NOT the twilight zone (or Twilight movies), but the most sacrilegious events of all times that is more epic than GODZILLA eating a town of vegetarians and being stuck on hold with PETA wanting to file a complaint.........it's otherwise known as: the management position! Yes folks.......the Big Kahuna has had his name carved a little bit higher on the totem pole and since having that done, there has been much greater responsibilities that comes with having your name carved higher on the mountain. Responsibilities such as:

1. Sacrificing virgins.........to TRI LAMBDA
2. Overseeing towns people. 
3. Giving comfort and knowledge to those who are seeking advice and even if they don't want it they will get it regardless of how many times they BOW AND GROVEL AT MY FEET!
4. See number 1 but add: and to me also
5. Oversee the greatest of contracts and bending of the wills.
6. Still buy cards and drive myself insane (daily ritual-insane)   

So know this........I am alive and you shall see that I have not forsaken my quest to make Topps Customer service department cringe. This journey we have started will be soulless and will gnash it's teeth at the mindless stiffs (the Republicans and Democrats). Then I will introduce you to a new segment on here called: MY WALLETS PAIN FOR YOUR PLEASURE! WELCOME TO THE TERROR THAT IS KNOWN AS: 

ENOUGH ALREADY

Sacrifice your cards today!

Big K



2 comments:

Fuji said...

Glad to hear you're alive and kickin'. Congratulations on the managerial position. Just try not to slay too many virgins ;)

Dennis said...

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING...

yaaaay

Good to have you back, my friend